Commonalities of many Domestic Abusers include low self-esteem, the use of psychological, emotional, and physical abuse,and promises to change.
Personality Traits of the abuser/batterer
Although abusers may have some type of mental illness, the perpetrators of domestic violence are usually not sick or deranged. They actually are quite cunning, having learned manipulative techniques and behaviors that allow them to dominate and control others (abusively) in order to obtain the desired responses. Law enforcement officers commonly arrive on the scenes of domestic abuse crimes and find significant evidence of a violent incident, such as an injured victim and a home in disarray, yet the perpetrator is composed and speaks casually with the officers as if nothing occurred.
Abusers often experience dramatic mood swings of highs and lows, being loving one minute, and spiteful and cruel the next. Abusers are often characterized by those outside the home as generous, caring, and behave drastically differently in their home environment. Perpetrators of domestic violence are rarely violent to those outside of their domicile.
The abusers' use of psychological, emotional, and physical abuse intertwined with periods of remorse, love, and happiness are deliberate tools used to gain control over the victim. Batterers may violently assault, then moments later apologize for their actions. Many purchase gifts of flowers, candy, and other items in order to gain forgiveness. Abusers often promise that they will never harm their partners again. Their promises include obtaining professional help or counseling, but often these promises are never kept, and are only used as another "tool" to prevent the victims from leaving.
What drives abusers to abuse?
It is the abusers' own fears and insecurities that are the main reasons they abuse. Psychologists have identified some common characteristics of domestic violence abusers. Many of the perpetrators suffer from low self-esteem, and their sense of self and identity is tied to their partner.
Violence is often used by abusers to gain and maintain all the power and authority in the relationship. They will isolate their victims by forbidding the victim to maintain outside employment, friends, and family ties. By using isolation, the abusers leave victims with no support system, and create dependency upon the abusers, thus giving them more power and control. The perpetrators also limit a survivor's options by not allowing access to checking accounts, credit cards or other financial resources.
Abusers may constantly criticize, berate and humiliate their partners, causing the victims to feel worthless, ugly, stupid, and crazy, which lowers their self-esteem. In turn the victims' low self-esteem may contribute to their feeling that they deserve the abuse. It affects their ability to see themselves as worthy of better treatment.
It is when abusers feel they are losing the victim, through separation, divorce, or emotional detachment that they will react to the situation by abusing. If victims leave through any of these methods, abusers feel they are losing power, control, and their self-identity. They will often then resort to desperate measures to maintain control over the victim.
What should you do?
Anyone suffering from abuse or who knows of someone suffering at the hands of another should contact their local police, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at(800) 799-SAFE (7233), (800) 787-3224 (TTY).
False Allegations : Wrongful Accusations of Rape
Men falsely accused of rape destroy reputations. False allegations occur at an alarming rate. There is no justice for the false accusers.
Rape has several meanings, the lesser known being to seize, take or carry by force; or an act of violation, abuse or plunder. Having that clarification, it can be stated that when men are falsely accused of rape, they become a victim of rape. Their reputation and life as they once knew it has been forcibly seized and emotionally, they have been abused and violated.
False Accusations Exist
In a study that span nine years, sociologist Eugene J. Kanin’s findings were that in the United States, 41% of rape allegations are false. Kanin discovered that most of the false accusers were motivated by a need for an alibi or seeking revenge. Kanin was once popular and highly praised by the feminist movement for his groundbreaking research on male sexual aggression. His studies on false rape accusations have received very little interest.
These findings are not exceptional. The U.S. Air Force studied over five hundred rape accusations in 1985. More than 130 of the accusers admitted, either just before they took a lie detector test or after they had failed it, that no rape occurred. A more in depth investigation by independent reviewers established that 60% of the original rape allegations were a sham.
Linda Fairstein is the head of the New York County District Attorney's Sex Crimes Unit. She states there are a concerning 4,000 reports of rape each year in Manhattan. Of these, about 2,000 did not happen.
In Canada there is little or no justice for falsely accused men. In a small town north of Toronto a woman gave York Region Police a blood stained pair of underwear stating that her ex-husband sexually assaulted their daughter. DNA evidence proved that the woman cut herself and put her blood on the garment. She was fined $25 for public mischief.
Craig Silverman, a former Colorado prosecutor known for his zealous prosecution of rapists during his career, says that false rape accusations occur with "scary frequency.”
The crime of making a false allegation is not exclusive to women. On April 24, 2007 TimesOnline reported that Aftab Ahmed, 44 of Bradford, England was cleared of a false allegation. A teenage girl accused the cab driver of rape in January 2006. Mr Ahmed stated, “The accusations have destroyed my family. It has impacted on myself, my wife and my children. To be accused of rape is the most serious crime in my religion of Islam.” Aftab Ahmed lost everything as a result. The adolescent girl was sentenced to only four months detention.
Women Are Victims Too
Men are not the only victims of women who make false allegations. Women who are the real victims of rape, are further victimized by those who make false accusations. Words and actions by a false accuser rob the real-life victims of rape of badly needed services. These women abuse police, prosecutors and victim group resources, taking time, money and resources away from those who truly need and deserve help.
The Need for Justice
Although legislative amendment is needed, it cannot immediately stop the frequency of false allegations of rape. Society needs strict laws to aid in the education process that no one has the right to make a false allegation.
Rape is an appalling crime. False accusations of rape and the lack of accountability should be just as an intolerable of a crime as physical rape itself.
Rape has several meanings, the lesser known being to seize, take or carry by force; or an act of violation, abuse or plunder. Having that clarification, it can be stated that when men are falsely accused of rape, they become a victim of rape. Their reputation and life as they once knew it has been forcibly seized and emotionally, they have been abused and violated.
False Accusations Exist
In a study that span nine years, sociologist Eugene J. Kanin’s findings were that in the United States, 41% of rape allegations are false. Kanin discovered that most of the false accusers were motivated by a need for an alibi or seeking revenge. Kanin was once popular and highly praised by the feminist movement for his groundbreaking research on male sexual aggression. His studies on false rape accusations have received very little interest.
These findings are not exceptional. The U.S. Air Force studied over five hundred rape accusations in 1985. More than 130 of the accusers admitted, either just before they took a lie detector test or after they had failed it, that no rape occurred. A more in depth investigation by independent reviewers established that 60% of the original rape allegations were a sham.
Linda Fairstein is the head of the New York County District Attorney's Sex Crimes Unit. She states there are a concerning 4,000 reports of rape each year in Manhattan. Of these, about 2,000 did not happen.
In Canada there is little or no justice for falsely accused men. In a small town north of Toronto a woman gave York Region Police a blood stained pair of underwear stating that her ex-husband sexually assaulted their daughter. DNA evidence proved that the woman cut herself and put her blood on the garment. She was fined $25 for public mischief.
Craig Silverman, a former Colorado prosecutor known for his zealous prosecution of rapists during his career, says that false rape accusations occur with "scary frequency.”
The crime of making a false allegation is not exclusive to women. On April 24, 2007 TimesOnline reported that Aftab Ahmed, 44 of Bradford, England was cleared of a false allegation. A teenage girl accused the cab driver of rape in January 2006. Mr Ahmed stated, “The accusations have destroyed my family. It has impacted on myself, my wife and my children. To be accused of rape is the most serious crime in my religion of Islam.” Aftab Ahmed lost everything as a result. The adolescent girl was sentenced to only four months detention.
Women Are Victims Too
Men are not the only victims of women who make false allegations. Women who are the real victims of rape, are further victimized by those who make false accusations. Words and actions by a false accuser rob the real-life victims of rape of badly needed services. These women abuse police, prosecutors and victim group resources, taking time, money and resources away from those who truly need and deserve help.
The Need for Justice
Although legislative amendment is needed, it cannot immediately stop the frequency of false allegations of rape. Society needs strict laws to aid in the education process that no one has the right to make a false allegation.
Rape is an appalling crime. False accusations of rape and the lack of accountability should be just as an intolerable of a crime as physical rape itself.
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